Letting Go

I dedicate this poems to my brother Rommel aka Kuya Ame

who passed away last October 22, 2007.  It happened after my wedding.

I’m dying inside for the fact that it’s impossible to fly back in the Philippines

I never had a chance to say goodbye nor see him for the last time.

It really breaks my heart. It’s just one month after my uncle’s heart attacked

and I’m not yet overcome now it’s my brother’s death.

Sometimes life is so unfair! Well, Kuya Ame this is for you…I love you and I miss you!

For my Uncle Roger and Brother Rommel may you REST IN PEACE

The Longest Goodbye of Kuya Ame

Life brought you many challenges
many struggles and many hardships.
The years left their marks as lines on your face
and gray-hues colored your hair.
The sun weathered your skin
adding freckles from age.
Your mind slipped into it’s own world
where few could reach you,
As time took it’s toll.

We lost you years before
to the disease that steals the mind
and leaves behind the body to slowly fade,
with the passage of time.
A disease known as "the longest goodbye."
The person we once knew,
the one I called "Kuya Ame,"

My wish for you
in this season of goodwill towards men
and for every day since we "lost" you
Is for a peaceful death,
a good death
a death of days gone by.
For you to slip away
without fanfare
without sirens
without shouting
without pain
And find a rest without waking.

This year we both got our wish for Christmas.
You left us with serenity and dignity
quietly and peacefully in your sleep,
The way you had asked to go.

Kuya Ame…I’m dying inside

Something so hard goes straight to the soul; it seems impossible to get over and my heart is left with a big hole. I’m trying to be happy, wearing a smile; but I’m dying inside. The world seems to be fading, and I just want to run and hide. Everywhere I go I see your face, and realize how much I miss you; and on the day you died a piece of me died too. I miss you Kuya Ame…

Kuya Ame, Goodbye At Last

Saying goodbye is never easy It’s the hardest thing to do But what hurts even more Is not the chance to say it to you. Yesterday is just a memory Our laughter was sunny and bright Then clouds started to gather For you were no where in sight. You were my nice brother And this I will never forget How you left without a warning No good-byes, my only regret. Wherever I may be now I’m always thinking of you Memories still in my heart                                       No matter what my wrongs You offered only love Until the day you left me For your new home up above. I know you still are with me Your love is within my heart Though life is no longer present Our souls will be meet soon. This is given to you in honor Of all that we did share I just wanted you to know, Kuya Ame, How much I really did care.